Off On a Tangent

A web of tangents that somehow unify.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Going Your Own Way

Every now and then a question looms large in my mind, and I get somewhat obsessive about digging out answers. Usually it's one of several questions that keep coming back to haunt me, in various different forms. The current question goes something like this: if you became convinced of some (almost literally) earth-shattering truth, would you have the courage and conviction to change your whole life as a result? I'm not talking becoming a vegetarian because you suddenly decide eating meat is unethical, I'm talking really radical changes to your life. Would you do it, or would you find some way to convince yourself you're wrong so you can get back to watching TV?

I've become really interested in the Amish lately - I'm fascinated that such a large group of people have successfully rejected the modern lifestyle that surrounds them - for hundreds of years. Are they communally insane, or do they know something the rest of us don't? Is there some deep rooted fanaticism that enables them to do this? Is it a brutal dictatorship that keeps the people in line? Do they all genuinely know the issues and prefer it that way? How does it happen? It's that type of life-altering change I'm talking about. Imagine a group of people deciding to quit their day job and mimic the Amish. I know there are people who make such changes in their life - I'm just trying to understand what it takes to do it.

A guiding principle in my thinking comes from Kierkegaard's Fear and Trembling, in which Abraham's willingness to kill his own son because an invisible God asked him to is examined. For the deeply religious Kierkegaard, it was important to understand how to distinguish faith from madness, at least internally, since externally it seemed impossible. Kierkegaard argued that individual relationships with the Absolute transcended universal truths - in other words, what God asks of you takes precedence over any universal ethical truths.

Today, we have no simple God who commands us, we have our individual intuitions, our gut feelings, our own beliefs that may fly in the face of our societal norms, and what gives us any confidence that we know something the rest of humanity doesn't? When scientists tell us low-fat diets are healthier, who are any of us to say, my gut says all that is wrong? When the world tells us murder is wrong, who are we to say, no, in this instance, it's right and necessary? For Kierkegaard, the answer was that your personal relationship with God can create individual answers for you that fly in the face of universal truth. For us today, it's both simpler and more complicated: we aren't talking going against universal truth so much as massive consensus, but we also don't have God to hide behind - only our own fallible and small resources.

But sometimes, you cannot deny yourself, and you know your way is right - even if just for you. And so, do you follow your conviction like the Amish, or do you convince yourself you're mistaken and go with the world? There is no doubt that in many cases, we'd all suffer less if people ignored their own convictions.

Not that I'm alone in thinking that Peak Oil is likely going to ruin our current society in the near future, but I am alone amongst anyone I actually know in real life. I am genuinely scared and horrified at the prospects of life here 20 years from now, and in particular for my 3-month-old son Jaime. What do I do about it? What do I dare do about it?